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#402795 - 04/10/14 07:49 AM Re: What funny thing are you appreciating tonight? [Re: medic8r]
Murph Offline
axiomite

Registered: 10/05/06
Posts: 6865
Loc: PEI, Canada
I've been bested by a grown man who speaks Klingon and now they are never going to let me into the comic store again.

WHERE the HELL am I going to buy my t-shirts now????? The Humanity!!!
_________________________
With great power comes Awesome irresponsibility.

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#402798 - 04/10/14 08:58 AM Re: What funny thing are you appreciating tonight? [Re: Murph]
Ken.C Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 05/03/03
Posts: 17792
Loc: NoVA
Originally Posted By: Murph
I've been bested by a grown man who speaks Klingon and now they are never going to let me into the comic store again.

WHERE the HELL am I going to buy my t-shirts now????? The Humanity!!!


That's speciesist. I WIILL CUT OFF YOUR FINGERS.
_________________________
I am the Doctor, and THIS... is my SPOON!

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#402799 - 04/10/14 09:40 AM Re: What funny thing are you appreciating tonight? [Re: medic8r]
medic8r Offline
axiomite

Registered: 02/05/06
Posts: 6402
Loc: Fredericksburg, Virginia
Good idea. Maybe you could whip them up into some sort of dish. I could go for some Rokeg blood pie. What say we share some? I can bring some blood wine that's young and warm!
_________________________
"The Universe is the game of the self, which plays hide and seek forever and ever" - Alan Watts

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#403224 - 04/17/14 11:41 AM Re: What funny thing are you appreciating tonight? [Re: medic8r]
GOD Offline
connoisseur

Registered: 03/23/10
Posts: 3169
Loc: Massachusetts Badlands
A friend called me a week ago to inform me that his Mom had died. She had been on her own until 92, then assisted living three years ago, then full-on nursing home care, dementia, etc.
She was 95. His Dad died almost 30 years ago. I would say to Mike, "He died to get away from her." "Oh, you bet!," (She was particularly relentless with his Dad.)

Bob: "I thought you said he had a myocardial infarction?,"
Mike: "He did."
Bob: "Well, I don't understand how a coroner can mistake 7 self-inflicted ice pick wounds to the chest for an M.I.
That one would always make him laugh!

Mike and I became friends and band mates 44 years ago. I knew his Mom rather well, as we hung out at each others' houses playing and listening to music every week. She would always groan at him about, well, anything, and hold me up as a paradigm, which amused me no end.

"Look how nice Bobby's clothes are. Why don't you dress that way?!" Nothing he or his Dad did could ever be good enough. She was an unhappy and frequently not a very nice person, in general.

Last night I called him, just to see how he was doing and that he was OK. He talked to me about how much he had on his plate; dealing with her condo, which had been rented since she left, her upcoming memorial service, her stuff, losing your living parent, etc.

After a few minutes of discussing these things, he paused and asked, "So, how are YOU doing?" I replied, "Oh, I was over it an hour after you called to tell me."
_________________________
"Ya rolls the dice and ya takes yer chanskes."
Popeye

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#403230 - 04/17/14 01:10 PM Re: What funny thing are you appreciating tonight? [Re: medic8r]
MarkSJohnson Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 09/27/04
Posts: 10942
Loc: Central NH
Brutal, Bob.

I'm trying to figure out if I should see this in an Atmos theater, a DBox Theater, an Imax theater, or a peep show theater:

(NSFW) Linky (NSFW)
_________________________
::::::: No disrespect to Axiom, but my favorite woofer is my yellow lab :::::::

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#403238 - 04/17/14 02:52 PM Re: What funny thing are you appreciating tonight? [Re: MarkSJohnson]
fredk Offline
axiomite

Registered: 12/06/07
Posts: 7150
Loc: Canada
You'd go to a peep show with Bob? You are a brave man.
_________________________
Fred

-------
Blujays1: Spending Fred's money one bottle at a time, no two... Oh crap!

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#403693 - 04/30/14 07:53 PM Re: What funny thing are you appreciating tonight? [Re: medic8r]
MarkSJohnson Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 09/27/04
Posts: 10942
Loc: Central NH
THE HILLBILLY VASECTOMY

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem, but that it was expensive..

"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can (COORS), then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.

He held the can up to his ear and began to count!

'1'

'2'

'3'

'4'

'5'


At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.
_________________________
::::::: No disrespect to Axiom, but my favorite woofer is my yellow lab :::::::

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#403714 - 05/01/14 12:08 PM Re: What funny thing are you appreciating tonight? [Re: medic8r]
medic8r Offline
axiomite

Registered: 02/05/06
Posts: 6402
Loc: Fredericksburg, Virginia
That doesn't make any sense. A guy in Alabama doesn't drink Coors, he drinks Bud.
_________________________
"The Universe is the game of the self, which plays hide and seek forever and ever" - Alan Watts

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#403721 - 05/01/14 02:24 PM Re: What funny thing are you appreciating tonight? [Re: medic8r]
a401classic Offline
connoisseur

Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 1194
Loc: Alpharetta, GA
The prescription wasn't to drink it... so the doctor specified something not worth drinking
_________________________
Scott

My HT

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#403724 - 05/01/14 02:45 PM Re: What funny thing are you appreciating tonight? [Re: a401classic]
GOD Offline
connoisseur

Registered: 03/23/10
Posts: 3169
Loc: Massachusetts Badlands
To me, it really looks like a re-worked ethnic joke---I'm thinking, maybe Pol...

What? Really? You're kidding! Hillbillies ARE an ethnic minority? Since when?

Oh, because they can trace their lineage back to the original Irish diaspora? I did not know that. Thank you.
_________________________
"Ya rolls the dice and ya takes yer chanskes."
Popeye

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