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#371827 - 04/01/12 10:16 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: BobKay]
JohnK Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 05/11/02
Posts: 10308
Sinful indeed, Bob, and it inspires me to re-tell my favorite confession joke. I had the nerve to tell it to our priest and he seemed to enjoy it, but he was mumbling something about excommunication.

Tommy O'Toole goes to Father Ryan for his confession: "Father, I have sinned; I have been with a loose woman".

Recognizing his voice, Father says; "Is that you, young Tommy O'Toole? Tis a grievous sin and you must name the woman"

Tommy replies:"Aye, Father; it is I, but I cannot betray the woman".

Father asks: "Was it Meagan O'Hara?" Tommy: "I cannot say the name".

Father: "Was it Mary Flynn?". Tommy: "My lips are sealed".

Next: "Was it Patricia Dougherty?". "It would not be fair for me to say".

Father is becoming exasperated, but he continues and names six women, but Tommy steadfastly refuses each time to reveal anything. Father then realizes it's useless to continue: "Tommy, you're a stalwart lad. Say 20 Our Fathers and 20 Hail Marys and sin no more".

Tommy walks out and over to the pew where his friend Sean is kneeling, saying the penance he was given. Sean whispers:"What did he give you?". Tommy replies with enthusiasm: "Six good leads!".
_________________________
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Enjoy the music, not the equipment.



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#371828 - 04/01/12 10:19 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: JohnK]
BobKay Offline
connoisseur

Registered: 03/23/10
Posts: 2981
Loc: Massachusetts Badlands
Excellent, JK! I know just where I'm gonna put the f-bomb when I retell it.
_________________________
If I didn't have a shrink, all of my friends would think there's something wrong with me.

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#381219 - 08/06/12 11:55 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: pmbuko]
MarkSJohnson Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 09/27/04
Posts: 10694
Loc: Central NH
GOLFER AT THE DENTIST

A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:30 already... I simply don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!'

The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain." So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it sir?"

The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him........"
_________________________
::::::: No disrespect to Axiom, but my favorite woofer is my yellow lab :::::::

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#393149 - 05/15/13 10:56 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: pmbuko]
JohnK Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 05/11/02
Posts: 10308
An Amish man and his son visit a big mall for the first time and are amazed by the things they see. The shiny metal parts of a wall near them suddenly slide open and then close.

The son asks: "Father, what is that?". Father(having never seen an elevator before)responds: "I've never seen anything like that. I don't know what it is".

Just then an elderly woman in a wheel chair goes up to it and presses a button. They watch as the wall opens and she enters a small room inside before it closes again. They see blinking lights above it go up in number and then reverse and come down. It opens again and out steps a very beautiful 20 year old woman.

Father says "Son, go get your mother".
_________________________
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