I dreamed about adapting that Indian movie I watched, 3 Idiots, into an American film, I was going to have it take place at the fictional college, Texas Institute of Technology.

...<*****static*****> Hello Tokyo! Come in... <*** more static *****>

LOL!

Good one, Scott!

I saw a poor old lady fall down in the supermarket parking lot yesterday. At least I assume she was poor, 'cause she only had $2.70 in her purse.

I applied for a job as a Lumberjack. They gave me the axe because I couldn't hack it.

The other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, "Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and wrote
another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a "doughnut-eating Gestapo." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said "Obama in 08."

Did you hear about the guy who was in a freak accident at a research lab and froze himself to absolute zero?




He's 0K now.

For those who don't know, Steven Hawking is on a comedy tour (or so I was told), and I heard that this is one of his best jokes-

You remember how your mom said that you shouldn't make faces in the schoolyard because your face might stay that way?



Well, I should've listened.

With all the chaos and looting going on in London, it's refreshing to read about people who are thinking twice before joining in.

Did you hear about the dwarf who was about to loot a butcher store, but reconsidered because the steaks were too high?

I wonder if he makes top shelf cocktails at home.