What do you get when you mix Rogain and Viagra?





Hair like Don King.

How do you circumcise a whale?










Send down four skin divers.

confucius say;man who go through turnstyle at airport sideways going to Bangcock

Old movie quotes that someone will likely recognize....

I tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

I got run over by a Toyota today....ooohhhhh what a feeling.

It's Ray's first day at the exclusive Golden Years Rest Home, and it starts out with a wonderful breakfast of steak and eggs and a glass of chilled prune juice.

As he sits eating his breakfast he starts listing over the right side of his chair. As he leans, a nurse rushes over and sits him back upright in his chair before bustling off to attent to another resident.

A few moments later Ray starts listing to his left side and, again, an alert nurse sits him back up straight.

A third time, Ray lists forward and a nurse catches him before his head touches the plate.

Ray's neighbor, Jack, shows up with his plate and sits next to him. He says, "So how do you like it here?"

Ray replies, "Everything is great, except one thing. They won't allow me to fart."

At which point I IMMEDIATELY move to another table, preferably WAY across the room.

Bravo, I like worse.

I normally roll my eyes at blonde jokes, but this one made me laugh.


Q: What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?


A: Whoah! Donut seeds!

one holloween a little boy dressed as a pirate was trick or treating all alone .he walked up to a house and rang the bell and a woman came to the door and she said,aww how cute,its a little pirate,and hes all alone.where are your bucaneers tonight?the boy replied-under my buckin hat,where do you think they are

A guy with a very black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately the guy sitting next to him has a black eye too. He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes, mind if I ask how you got yours?"

Other guy: "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with huge breasts was there, so instead of saying 'I'd like a ticket to Pittsburgh', I said 'I'd like a picket to Tittsburgh', and she hauled off and hit me in the eye."

First guy: "Wow, this IS a coincidence. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table this morning, and I meant to say to my wife, 'Please pass the box of Wheaties', but I accidentally said 'You've ruined my whole life you stupid b*tch.'"