That's an oldie.... but also one of my favorites!

As a matter of fact, though, you tell it better now then you did then.

Oh hell. Somebody ask Jack to pass me the metumucil.

Yeah Tom, and it's also one of Peter's old favorites .

Aricept and Namenda for everybody!

*sprinkles samples in the Water Cooler*

Wow.

Tom's worse than I thought.

Inconceivable!

<Inigo Montoya>I do not think means what you think it means.</Inigo Montoya>

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, "Number twelve!" The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, "Number four!" Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing.

The new guy asks his cellmate what's going on. "Well," says the older prisoner, "we've all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke."

So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, "Number six!" There was dead silence in the cell block. He asks the older prisoner, "What's wrong? Why didn't I get any laughs?"

"Well," said the older man, "sometimes it's not the joke, but how you tell it."

Harry came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep sleep.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Harry."

Harry was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!"

St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back:... as a chicken."

Harry was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.

The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, eh? How's your first day here?"

"Not bad," replied Harry the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"

"You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"

"Never," said Harry. "Well, just relax and let it happen."

Harry did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

Harry was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.

He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, "Dammit, Harry! Wake up. You're crapping in the bed!"