Bren, I'm crushed. Your reply indicates that you haven't been following this thread very closely and that you missed my seven previous gems(and I selected ones that I thought would be especially appreciated by citizens of western Canada).

Q: What is President Bush's position on Roe vs. Wade?

A. He really doesn't care how people get out of New Orleans.

Now that's funny!

Politics ist verboten, but clever, nevertheless.

that's the most benign political joke possible, though, don't you think? Not critical, but it deals with two hot-button issues.

Okay, okay. Back to the tried and true.


A man takes his 9 year old daughter with him to to the barbershop so she can experience the hoary male ritual of a good old-fashinoned shave and haircut.

He gives her a snack to keep her occupied, but she's so fascinated by the trimming, snipping, and cutting that she stands right next to the barber chair watching every move.

Finally the barber tells her "You know, little girl, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."

She replies:

"Yeah, I'm gonna get tits too!"

Good recovery, Peter. A young lady was driving in an isolated area in Texas when her car broke down. No traffic came by, but an Indian on horseback rode up and offered to take her to a service station, so she got up onto the horse behind him. The ride was uneventful except that every minute or so the Indian would let out a tremendous whoop. After they got to the garage and she jumped off, the Indian waved, gave a final whoop, and rode off with a big grin on his face. The garage man asks "How'd you get that Indian so worked-up?" "I don't know; I simply climbed up onto the horse behind him, reached around his waist to hold the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off, and rode". "Lady, Indians ride bareback".

After mass one Sunday, two nuns were riding their bicycles back to the convent when the nun in the lead unexpectedly turned down a side street. When they arrived back at the convent, the nun who had been following dismounted and said, "I didn't know we could come that way."

"It's the cobblestones," replied the first.

Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways.

The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker the night before. The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks."

The second said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!"

The third proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!"

The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first girl spoke out again, "Listen girls, I don't think you understand. Chunks is my dog."

Hahaha!