"To insure a pain free married life, you MUST use one of these two responses to anything she says..."
No, actually all you have to do is find a Sweetheart like I did!
While we were in Florida one of her girlfriends started complaining that her boyfriend had just spent $300.00 on a surround sound system for their livingroom.
Linda asked "What did he buy?" Sort of indredulously...
And when the girl started saying somthing to the effect of "Oh there are speakers on top of the TV and speakers on the walls..." Linda cut in with,
"No, I meant, what kind of CRAP did he buy for $300.00?"
Then she told them an approximation of what I have just bought, with a decent guess on what I had spent, and proceeded to tell them how happy she was with how happy it makes me!
That's My Girl!