How to be a Sales guy in a tech company:
1) Use email as little as possible when communicating within the company. That way when things go wrong they can't trace it back to you.
2) When asking for something, be as vague as you possibly can. NEVER give any time, cost, specification, or ANY other parameters. The trick here is to make the other guy specify these things, therefore removing responsibility from yourself.
3) When a customer asks for something, NEVER EVER EVER SAY "WE DON'T HAVE THAT!" Always say "we have something similar" or "we can make that work" or "we're working on that right now."
4) There are no margins in computer hardware. So, even though our products are made to run factories 24/7/365, try to hammer on the IT guys to lower their HW standards on every piece. I mean, spending $75,000 on hardware only leaves us with $525,000 for the software and man-hours. I don't get commisions on the hardware part.
5) When in doubt, obfuscate.
6) From the Book of Redmond, 2:13:
"And yea, tho yon Product hath performed well, and shall continue, resteth thine weary head not, for Upgrades shall be the Path to true Peace. Sayeth unto thine Customer 'Yon feature shall only be available-eth in the next upgrade,' and Lo, the eyes of Profit and Commission shall smile brightly evermore."
