Home theater in a box isn't all bad... I have a home theater in a box... well.. eight boxes.. one of which looked like it could have had a dryer in it. :-D
If you can, post a photo of the configuration that could help most of us narrow it down a lot more. Also will this be his "main" setup or more of a side-project rec room kinda thing? I might make bigger concessions in a room that isn't dedicated to viewing/listening (maybe a parlor, pool table, etc.) than if it's my showpiece center of my entertainment world.
Another option might be to do a little more wife training. Sneak her into some nearby setups that could blow HER away. You can always massage the user interface by setting up a universal remote with her usual activities easy to find.
