Well, Mark, your post is the only one that's ever taken me two sessions to read and study. I got about half way through and then took off to do a couple of investment and tax answers on another board. Now, with everything digested and all those details, yet another one is when you set the M60s "large", what is the subwoofer mode on the 3805 set to? If LFE, then the 350 gets LFE from 5.1 material(if any)plus the below 100 Hz bass from the QS8s and VP150. If the mode is set LFE+Main, M60s run full-range and the 350 also doubles the M60 bass below 100Hz.

On your point about being able to do a more accurate equalization if the parametric EQ had manually adjustable parameters, I believe that only the new Yamaha 2500 provides for this. Although the details on them aren't entirely clear yet, the two apparently most advanced systems(HK635 developed by Dr. Toole's group and Denon 5805/4806 where Denon licensed the MultEQ system)don't seem to provide for full manual control.

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Enjoy the music, not the equipment.