Screw the haiku. Why don't we adopt un-metered prose? Just write long sentences with as many words as you can possibly cram in and with as few punctuation marks as you can manage and then most people will be able to read it without feeling like you're talking down to them or trying to make them feel inferior to your unparalleled mastery of the English language that you worked so hard to gain when you were in college -- that is when you weren't busy getting drunk and trying to pick up anything with breasts that moved.
-- Let me tell you a story about why I believe anecdotal evidence. --