As usual, I'm going to suggest at Hsu VTF-2. Very tight, clean bass, and unless they've sold out of them already, Hsu has some "b-stock" VTF-2's for $399 delivered.

Cheaper than that, I've heard good things about Athena's subs. I believe you can even find those at Best Buy now.

I too have never been a fan of much bass, for exactly the same reason you stated. Most people have it cranked up too high, and are using a bad subwoofer. Clean, tight bass is a wonderful sounding thing.