They're discharging him a day early! Oh, crap! Oh, crap!

I've got 2 hours to:
Wash every dish, glass, cup, and utensil in the house. I was too lazy to clean El Bandito's dish each day, so I fed him on a new dinner plate. Dishwasher's gone as kitch redo is underway.

Do 4 loads of laundry. Even the clothes he wore to th ER are still in my car.

Clean every bed and piece of furniture. When he's gone I let BandyBoy break a few rules. OK. OK. All of them. How I'm gonna get him to lose 4 lbs. in 2 hours though is beyond me. I've chosen to spend "walk time" roughhousing with him on the floor instead, throughout the house. The minute he sees Bill come in the door, he's gonna start doin' the leash-in-mouth thing and I'm busted.

There are nicotine stains on the lampshades. Rauchen ist verboten im haus. Suggestions for removal greatly, and immediately, appreciated. Oh, I can buy identical new ones right now and say I sent them out to be cleaned. Damn, I'm good.

And, finally, I'm gonna have to cancel tonight's, umm, "special delivery." I prepaid yesterday for that German Juicer I found on Craig's List, so now I can't get my money back!

Valentine's week, indeed.
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Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.