Mike,
All you are doing when you calibrate is listening to and using test tones and running them through an SPL meter so that you can balance the audio (sound pressure/amount of air they are moving). Once the speakers are calibrated/balanced, you can listen at whatever volume setting you like. The key message here is that whether you listen really loud or listen really quiet - the speakers are all in balance. If -40 is too loud on your receiver when you are listening to a movie, then listen at -50. Listening levels have absolute;ly nothing to do with calibration levels.
When you are done calibrating, the speakers will be in balance. You will be calibrating using the DVE disc, not using a movie. It sounds like you will need to watch the DVE disc for instructions before you begin the actual calibration process. BTW, I think DVE has you calibrate at 75db.
Also, set your individual speakers to 0. When you begin with the left front speaker, use the main volume control on the receiver to turn up the test tone for the left front until you get 75db on your SPL meter. The receiver volume may be 0, -16 or +2. You simply need to get the left front to 75db regardless of the volume level the receiver reads out. As a matter of fact, for this execrise, you could put a piece of tape over the volume read out of the receiver.
Said a different way, keep your eye on the SPL meter as you turn the volume up using the test tone for the left front speaker. Don't even look at the receiver. When the meter shows 75db, stop turning the reciever volume knob.
Once you have the main volume set at 75db for the left front, you don't touch the main receiver volume again in the process.
At this point, calibrate each remaining speaker to 75 db by using the individual speaker adjustment in the receiver setup menu. It will allow you to adjust 1 db at a time, up or down. Fine tune until you get to 75db on each speaker.
I hope this is helpful. I understand how daunting it can be the first time. As I explained earlier, this is not life-threatening.
