Sorry - late to the party, so some quick input.
From an SUV perspective, I LOVE my 2014 MDX. No one mentioned the Nissan Pathfinder - 7 passenger and worth a look. You already looked at the Flex.
Van - the Odyssey is generally regarded as the best. My daughter just got a 2014 and loves it. Great gas mileage for a van. Quest is also a good choice.
Here is the deal on SUVs. They handle/ride more like a car, especially my MDX ( and surprisingly, the Odyssey is a great surprise for car-like handling). We got it for the additional size and that brings 7 seat capability (sort of). The third row in an SUV is NOT without it's challenges for ingress/egress as Tom mentioned. Although there is entertainment value in watching my wife try it out, I believe you have 3 kids and I don't know what that means relative to car seats. 3rd row car seats would pretty much eliminate traveling for us.
My daughter loves her Odyssey. Vans are simply easier to deal with because of the large sliding doors. They just work MUCH better with a bunch of kids. It's what we would have with kids involved. The Odyssey, at the lower end of the "pimp your ride" scale has some pretty neat stuff included and it is affordable for what you get, 28 highway mpg and the reliability. If I had a nudge vote for you, it would be the Odyssey.
Also, you mentioned cloth seats. Reconsider leather. Worth the $$ for the comfort and spills can be easily wiped up.
A side comment. I have NEVER understood why people are willing to pay $3000-$5000 more (per vehicle) to get a package that includes built-in navigation and a bunch of esoteric stuff you don't need. Top 'o the line Garmins are big enough, transferable to any of your vehicles AND easy to update and come in at ~ $350. And at that price, you get free map updates, traffic capability and voice control. Just a pet peeve.
So there is my late and unsolicited input. I Hope it helps.
