Sorry to hear about the passing of your friend Murph.
Some of that stuff sounds familiar from my ex's brother. He could be a real ahole to the people he was closest to at times.
I can't imagine going through what they did. I think those were the few moments of vulnerability in some otherwise incredibly tough individuals. The ultimate expression of their frustrations as it were. We survive, where they did not.
Be thankful for what and who you have. Be thankful that the miserable things that happen in your life dodn't kill you and that you still can enjoy.
