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#263231 - 06/10/09 02:59 PM Re: What is Wrong with Me-or-Is Anyone Else Like This? [Re: ClubNeon]
grunt Offline
connoisseur

Registered: 12/04/06
Posts: 3569
Loc: Nirvana
 Originally Posted By: ClubNeon

If you notice my writing style; I don't make paragraphs which are much more than five lines long if I can help it. The white space between them really helps break things up. When I see one huge mass of text that I do want to read I have a take a deep breath and try to work my way through the swimming mass of words

Then you’ve probably noticed I write the same way. When people write long paragraphs I use the cursor to highlight sections to keep my focus. When reading a book I use a bookmarked to move down the page line by line. To understand what I’m reading I must say every word (learned to do it in my head from being bitched at by teachers) so I only read at a speaking pace.

I also have great difficulty remembering names of people and things. I always try to have a pen with me and will right things like the name of someone or the call sign of the plane I’m launching on my hand so I can remember them. One nice thing about being the military is everyone wears a nametag.

 Originally Posted By: ClubNeon

It's really bad if it is someone I'm interested in, because they'll see me react, smile or whatever, to another conversation in the room. They tend to think I'm not into them at all,

I’ve found I can suppress reacting to other things but it sometimes leads to a 1000 meter stare where I’m looking right through the person I’m trying to pay attention to. It also causes me to find lyrics in songs distracting which is why I prefer instrumental pieces and songs in languages other than English. That way the vocals just become another instrument and don’t dominate the music.

 Originally Posted By: ClubNeon

On the other side of the coin, I love stimulants. To the point where I don't feel like I can function unless I have a large amount of caffeine in my system.

Stimulants also have a positive effect on me generally helping me focus. I also found certain anti histamines helped me weed out distractions but also had the side effect of causing my brain to feel “clouded.”

The only self medication I use now is running. If I don’t do a tempo run at least once every third day I start to feel overwhelmed in situation involving lot’s of stimuli.

I also found that an adrenaline rush helps bring focus to the world which made me an adrenaline junky. On the positive side of this I’ve learned to give myself an adrenaline rush just by thinking about things. It’s allowed me to take control of complex situations on many occasions leaving people amazed that I could “keep my cool” and make decisions completely chaotic situations. Like the “time dilatation” people often experience during a car accident only I can make it happen when I want. It’s like stepping out of time and looking in at what’s going on from a bird’s eye view.

However, the downside of the adrenaline thing is that driving, especially in heavy traffic, is a huge chore for me. Use to take me hours to unwind after driving home from day shift. Boy do I love being on 2nd shift now.

 Originally Posted By: ClubNeon

I was never diagnosed as being autistic, but I remember reading a study which said some autistic children benefited from a treatment as simple as putting in ear plugs. Again, makes me wonder.

Over the years I’ve done a lot of reading trying to figure out why I’m so different from everyone else and one of the biggest things I’ve notice is that so many conditions seem to overlap. It seems to me that there are ranges of conditions and disorders and that actually labeling them makes things difficult because people often exhibit symptoms that don’t always correlate with a specific one.
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#263242 - 06/10/09 03:36 PM Re: What is Wrong with Me-or-Is Anyone Else Like This? [Re: grunt]
ClubNeon Offline
connoisseur

Registered: 02/06/09
Posts: 3466
Loc: Western Maryland, USA
 Originally Posted By: grunt
I also have great difficulty remembering names of people and things. I always try to have a pen with me and will right things like the name of someone or the call sign of the plane I’m launching on my hand so I can remember them. One nice thing about being the military is everyone wears a nametag.

I've always said people should wear nametags around me. \:\) "Labels" are covered on that linked site too. Names just don't make sense, there's no logic or flow as to why things are called what they are called. None of my senses tells me this girl should be called Jennifer. The best I can do is try to associate new people with other people I know by the same name.

 Originally Posted By: grunt
I’ve found I can suppress reacting to other things but it sometimes leads to a 1000 meter stare where I’m looking right through the person I’m trying to pay attention to. It also causes me to find lyrics in songs distracting which is why I prefer instrumental pieces and songs in languages other than English. That way the vocals just become another instrument and don’t dominate the music.

Yep, yep, yep. I sometimes phase out when I'm doing the 1000 m stare. It like I heard what the person said, but I totally forgot to react or acknowledge, it isn't until later that it registers.

 Originally Posted By: grunt
Stimulants also have a positive effect on me generally helping me focus. I also found certain anti histamines helped me weed out distractions but also had the side effect of causing my brain to feel “clouded.”

I've also had some anti-histamines which cause some sounds (like the beep of the intercom at work) to make me feel like I just jumped out of my skin. I just try not to take the stuff unless I'm really suffering.

 Originally Posted By: grunt
I also found that an adrenaline rush helps bring focus to the world which made me an adrenaline junky. On the positive side of this I’ve learned to give myself an adrenaline rush just by thinking about things. It’s allowed me to take control of complex situations on many occasions leaving people amazed that I could “keep my cool” and make decisions completely chaotic situations. Like the “time dilatation” people often experience during a car accident only I can make it happen when I want. It’s like stepping out of time and looking in at what’s going on from a bird’s eye view.

I don't know if I've ever really had an adrenaline rush. Maybe I have, and just don't know it. I love roller coasters, and rides like that.

I know exactly what you mean about the time dilation. I impress people that way too. I've analyzed my thought process after an event like that. It isn't so much that it feels like time slows, but that all input is weighed and sorted, and the best outcome is selected in a blink of the eye. Most of my day is spent quickly sorting through meaningless stimuli, it has to be done quickly or else I'd get bogged down. Just because the situation changes and all of a sudden stimuli is of the utmost importance doesn't change the speed at which I deal with it. I think most people when faced with a situation with a large number of attention demanding items just can't sort out what to deal with first. That's every day life for me.

 Originally Posted By: grunt
However, the downside of the adrenaline thing is that driving, especially in heavy traffic, is a huge chore for me. Use to take me hours to unwind after driving home from day shift. Boy do I love being on 2nd shift now.

While I do enjoy driving, and can do amazing things with a car. It take so much out of me, I'm completely drained by the time I reach my destination. No matter the speed everything feels like a 200 Mph race. I'm lucky enough to be able to walk to work, and most places I need to go in town. I only drive at most once a week, sometimes I even skip one, and catch a ride.
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#263248 - 06/10/09 04:58 PM Re: What is Wrong with Me-or-Is Anyone Else Like T [Re: ClubNeon]
danmagicman7 Offline
connoisseur

Registered: 12/16/05
Posts: 1467
Interesting stuff.

I have a friend who is very quiet and can't express himself emotionally in any way. He gets freaked out by considering all of the reactions people would do "if" he said something before he says it...like a math puzzle.

A group of friends who knew him well and I would all have meetings sometimes figuring out what was "wrong" with him at the given moment.

I, on the other hand, suffer from terminal weirdness. Yesterday I wondered if I could make a business out of airmpit hair restoration. Pits not bushy enough? Restoration to the rescue!

And, I never got made fun of in college for expressing the idea that was on my mind at the moment. Never.
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#263252 - 06/10/09 05:34 PM Re: What is Wrong with Me-or-Is Anyone Else Like T [Re: danmagicman7]
bridgman Offline
axiomite

Registered: 08/25/04
Posts: 6147
Loc: Bowmanville, Ontario, Canada
Interesting... I seem to have something like the opposite condition, where hardly anything from the outside world gets through without being classified and filtered, and I have to make a very deliberate effort to "live in real time".

>>I have a friend who is very quiet and can't express himself emotionally in any way. He gets freaked out by considering all of the reactions people would do "if" he said something before he says it...like a math puzzle.

Yeah, I struggle with this too. Contingency planning is not the answer to everything, unfortunately ;\)

>>Also my squad always wanted me on point because I sensed things no one else noticed.

Grunt, I'm the guy that *nobody* wants on point.


Edited by bridgman (06/10/09 05:35 PM)
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#263272 - 06/10/09 08:39 PM Re: What is Wrong with Me-or-Is Anyone Else Like This? [Re: ClubNeon]
fredk Offline
axiomite

Registered: 12/06/07
Posts: 7786
Loc: Canada
Where to start. Anybody who starts to examine themselves, or anybody else, closely enough begins to appreciate just how weird they really are. There is not such thing as normal. Conformity yes, normality, no.

As only a depression sufferer can do, I have spent enough time on self reflection. I never quite felt normal, but I think that is as much because I am aware of my sometimes altered state as it is because of the state itself. It also has something to do with my upbringing.

Both of my parents were young teenagers in Europe during WW2 and saw things they shouldn't have. It dramatically changed their outlook on life in general and gave them a strong non-conformist tilt.

With my depression and a son diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a 'form' of autism, I have done a lot of reading on "isms".

The brain is a big black box and those with the most intimate knowledge of its workings readily admit just how little they know about it.

As a species, we have this need to put everything into neat little boxes and label them. The inner workings of the mind just cannot be labeled and boxed like this, at least not yet. Autism is a great example. It was originally labeled a disease of the mind, now its a spectrum of disorders. I personally believe its a collection of symptoms we as a species feel a need to classify, some of which may or may not turn out to be either related or disorders. We just don't know enough about how the mind works.

Chris, its cool that you have found something that describes the way you're mind functions. I'm also glad to see that they deliberately note that its not a disease.

I also think its good that they mention everyone has a level of LLI. Like symptoms of so many "isms" its a sliding scale that everyone fits on somewhere. When you start reading works by current researchers, this emerges as a theme.

I recognized bits of myself in the symptoms of ADD, yet those 'symptoms' have never negatively affected me at work or academically (except that I was incredibly bored and hence distracted throughout public school). I look at some of the stuff in the link you put up and think, hey, that fits perfectly, yet other stuff doesn't match at all.

Long story short, your normal, in a weird sort of way. ;\)
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#263293 - 06/10/09 10:27 PM Re: What is Wrong with Me-or-Is Anyone Else Like This? [Re: fredk]
Adrian Offline
axiomite

Registered: 12/27/08
Posts: 6895
Loc: It's all about the location.
There are many people with "isms" who have done incredible things with their lives due to their "isms"....a child that hears a tune once, then plays the tune, note for note on a piano without any formal training...amazing sculptures made by an autistic child ect. Some "isms" might be considered a gift...
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#263329 - 06/11/09 02:41 AM Re: What is Wrong with Me-or-Is Anyone Else Like This? [Re: Adrian]
grunt Offline
connoisseur

Registered: 12/04/06
Posts: 3569
Loc: Nirvana
 Originally Posted By: ClubNeon

The best I can do is try to associate new people with other people I know by the same name.

I’ve found that nicknaming people helps me out a lot. These are not always nicknames I use aloud but as a hook in my mind to help me remember their real name. My boss is “Big Joe” (from “Kelly’s Heroes”). Last boss was “Super Dave” (aka “Super Dave Osborne”). Then theirs “ferret” (Farrell), “lemur” (Leherma), “Super Mario” (Marti), “Sesame Steet“ (Sesma), “Dark Mark,” “Fat Phill,” “Ricky Ricardo,”…downside is that the inner voice has snuck out a couple of times.

 Originally Posted By: ClubNeon

…but I totally forgot to react or acknowledge, it isn't until later that it registers.

And then if you do react they are totally confused.

 Originally Posted By: ClubNeon

While I do enjoy driving, and can do amazing things with a car. It take so much out of me, I'm completely drained by the time I reach my destination. No matter the speed everything feels like a 200 Mph race. I'm lucky enough to be able to walk to work, and most places I need to go in town. I only drive at most once a week, sometimes I even skip one, and catch a ride.


I'm a crappy driver overall and especially in traffic. When the traffic gets heavy or I’m driving in a new place I have to turn the radio down or I start paying too much attention to it and zone out. I loved living in Wellington, NZ because I could walk or take the bus/trolley or train everywhere. If I needed to drive somewhere one of my girlfriends had a Mini. I also have to always drive with the window rolled down. If I can’t here what’s going on outside the care I get detached like I’m driving in a video game. Unfortunately, one drawback to living out West is you really need to drive. Luckily I found a house where almost all the shopping I need is within a mile.

 Originally Posted By: danmagicman7

And, I never got made fun of in college for expressing the idea that was on my mind at the moment. Never.

Neither did I but I pretty sure it’s because they were frightened.

 Originally Posted By: bridgman

Grunt, I'm the guy that *nobody* wants on point.

I hear ya, I’ve had a couple guys like that. One night while walking through some tall grass on a training patrol at Camp Pendleton something just felt wrong so I signaled for a listening halt. I quickly realized my point man had walked us into a herd of bison. After extricating ourselves we had a little talk about his situational awareness.. Didn‘t help.

 Originally Posted By: fredk

Long story short, your normal, in a weird sort of way

That about sums it up.
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