Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
RIP Captain Beefheart
#332215 12/22/10 04:44 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 34
T
enthusiast
OP Offline
enthusiast
T
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 34
Just found out that Captain Beefheart passed away on the 17th.

Godspeed you crazy crazy man!

Re: RIP Captain Beefheart
tehghost132 #332574 12/26/10 11:33 PM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 311
devotee
Offline
devotee
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 311
Really gonna miss that old coot.

And I'll never be able to afford one of his paintings now.. frown

But here's the Captain's "advice" for guitarists. I think it finely displays his cosmic wisdom and strange, beautiful mind...

Captain Beefheart's 10 Commandments for Guitarists:

1. LISTEN TO THE BIRDS That's where all the music comes from. Birds know everything about how it should sound and where that sound should come from. And watch hummingbirds. They fly really fast, but a lot of times they aren't going anywhere.


2. YOUR GUITAR IS NOT REALLY A GUITAR Your guitar is a divining rod. Use it to find spirits in the other world and bring them over. A guitar is also a fishing rod. If you're good, you'll land a big one.


3. PRACTICE IN FRONT OF A BUSH Wait until the moon is out, then go outside, eat a multi-grained bread and play your guitar to a bush. If the bush doesn't shake, eat another piece of bread.


4. WALK WITH THE DEVIL Old delta blues players referred to amplifiers as the "devil box." And they were right. You have to be an equal opportunity employer in terms of who you're bringing over from the other side. Electricity attracts demons and devils. Other instruments attract other spirits. An acoustic guitar attracts Casper. A mandolin attracts Wendy. But an electric guitar attracts Beelzebub.


5. IF YOU'RE GUILTY OF THINKING, YOU'RE OUT! If your brain is part of the process, you're missing it. You should play like a drowning man, struggling to reach shore. If you can trap that feeling, then you have something that is fur bearing.


6. NEVER POINT YOUR GUITAR AT ANYONE Your instrument has more power than lightning. Just hit a big chord, then run outside to hear it. But make sure you are not standing in an open field.


7. ALWAYS CARRY YOUR CHURCH KEY You must carry your key and use it when called upon. That's your part of the bargain. Like One String Sam. He was a Detroit street musician in the fifties who played a homemade instrument. His song "I Need A Hundred Dollars" is warm pie. Another church key holder is Hubert Sumlin, Howlin' Wolf's guitar player. He just stands there like the Statue of Liberty making you want to look up her dress to see how he's doing it.


8. DON'T WIPE THE SWEAT OFF YOUR INSTRUMENT You need that stink on there. Then you have to get that stink onto your music.


9. KEEP YOUR GUITAR IN A DARK PLACE When you're not playing your guitar, cover it and keep it in a dark place. If you don't play your guitar for more than a day, be sure to put a saucer of water in with it.


10. YOU GOTTA HAVE A HOOD FOR YOUR ENGINE Wear a hat when you play and keep that hat on. A hat is a pressure cooker. If you have a roof on your house the hot air can't escape. Even a lima bean has to have a wet paper towel around it to make it grow.





"Art is making something out of nothing and selling it."
---Frank Zappa

Re: RIP Captain Beefheart
audiosavant #332582 12/27/10 01:28 AM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 3,596
connoisseur
Offline
connoisseur
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 3,596
And the pantaloon duck white goose neck quacked, "Webcor, webcor."


Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.
Re: RIP Captain Beefheart
BobKay #332601 12/27/10 10:32 AM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 311
devotee
Offline
devotee
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 311
"Old woman sweat, young girl glisten..."

--- Captain Beefheart


"Art is making something out of nothing and selling it."
---Frank Zappa


Moderated by  alan, Amie, Andrew, axiomadmin, Brent, Debbie, Ian, Jc 

Link Copied to Clipboard

Need Help Graphic

Forum Statistics
Forums16
Topics24,434
Posts433,029
Members15,428
Most Online2,082
Jan 22nd, 2020
Top Posters
Ken.C 18,044
pmbuko 16,437
SirQuack 13,693
CV 11,828
MarkSJohnson 11,451
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 235 guests, and 3 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newsletter Signup
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.4