Axiom Home Page Forums General Discussion The Water Cooler A Gripe and an Awesomely Bad idea.

GRIPE:

Go look up all the screen names that have ever used "Bob" in them. You will see that my post # is at the top. Most of them do not concern me.
Two, however, do---greatly.

There was a "Bob," just "Bob" (not to be personal, but he's member #567). He logged in on 11/16/02 and was never seen again after 11/19/02.

Then there was a "BobK" (#3215), who logged both in and out forever on 3/20/05.

I see no rafters on this site!

I WANT ONE OF THOSE NAMES!

Do you think that they logged in only once, spent 6g's, and then disappeared? Gimme a break! Have they gotten others to buy Axioms as well? PUHLEEASE!

PARENTAL ADVISORY! PARENTAL ADVISORY!

So, I wanna know. Who do I have to thrill, kill, know, or blow to get this done?!?!!

I hate being BobKay. It makes me feel cheap. It's like a showbiz ethnic name change---like Danny Kaye. My surname escaped Ellis Island in shambles. I need this to feel complete.

Can I get a "BOB" petition going or something?

Then I can have Hermes (Mercury) take it to Axiomedes himself.

Can I get a "B"?!!!


AWESOMELY BAD IDEA:

In an attempt (semi-successful) to induce some members paths to cross this summer, I had an idea.

By his own admission, Mrs. T allows Tom to bring almost anything home except a cocktail waitress. (If that's how other guys use their mid-life crisis to snag a Mercedes, then I am so screwed.)

So, let me think. Under what circumstances might we "justify" a Dwight Over Again. (codename: DOA)

Some, er, umm, "accessibility" changes are in order, and I don't mean a pressure treated 2x4 ramp for Cam. They got that crap in spades where I'm thinkin.'

Thinking, thinking.

Where can we have it all?

Some cool audio/video gear to oggle, mondo food choices, mondo cigarette choices, alcohol, drugs AND enough cocktail waitresses for each of you to have eleven (different ones each day)???? (I am SO magnanimous!)

CES, ya cheap bastards! It's 8 months away.

Who's game?

I like your new sig line. It's very you.

Just send all of the unwanted cocktail waitresses my way.

I think the rule is, you are allowed one for every cat you have.

I definitely need more cats.

I'm game. Would love to see everyone again, even if the feeling isn't mutual.

There was mutual feeling on the dock last fall? shoot!! wad I miss??

I had hoped they all are.

Coming soon to a t-shirt or powerpoint near you.

I've always wanted to attend CES. And Vegas is pretty close for me (relatively). That time of year isn't a slam-dunk, but I'd love it.

Ya know, I buried that near the end of the body for a reason.

Oh, that Flexicon is coming sooner than anyone imagines.

See, Cam. Right there. I really coulda used it.

Most times, when I'm positive I absolutley shouldn't, I do.
This, quite simply, cannot be one of those times.

http://www.cesweb.org/default.asp

Jan 10-13, 2012.

Another option might be the Rocky Mountain Audio Fest in Denver October 14-16.

Yes, I know Denver is not Las Vegas. In every way.

However, CES is a monster to navigate, and RMAF seems somewhat more consumer-oriented. Good beer culture in Colorado, too.

I've never been to either city and have been eager to change that, so I'm interested.

Even if it does mean I have to see Cam again.

j/k Cam!

I like both suggestions!

RMAF is slightly more appealing. For whatever reason. Partly because I like Colorado. And the beer thing.

New Belgium Brewing Co. is in Ft. Collins, about an hour north of Denver.

I don't drink alcohol, so is anyone good for a quiescent scrabble tournament while the buffoons get shitfaced?

I'll bring my travel edition and a dictionary!

Boulder is nice. I taught some seminars there way back when and remember really liking the city....

Perfect! I'll bring along some green tea and incense.



What did you teach them?

What? I thought Kay was your last name. Are you just spelling out the letter K? I don't know anything that goes on around here. And I don't know why you are so morose about the unavailability of Bob or Sir Bob or whatever you want to be called when Honey Badger is ripe for the taking.

Oh, sorry. I'm still a little upset about the beating my 25 year old second hand table took over the weekend.

I could probably make that one. I like playing Scrabble while getting shitfaced.

Deflecting...

quiescent?

Is that a fancy word for unbuffoonish people getting drunk?

I vote for Denver! My sister lives there so when I got sick of hanging out with you all I could crash at her place.

We'll use Bob's Flexicon!



You've got it. .



I'll keep track of ya, Peter. You ain't going nowhere, friend . Any more sisters in Denver? I like sisters .

This has potential.

First though, we need rules....
-- Misspell a word, take a drink.
-- Correctly spell a curse word, give someone a drink.
-- Correctly spell an obscene word, give someone two drinks.
-- Misspell an attempt at a curse or obscene word and you have to chug your remaining drink.

Bob, as the non drinker and resident expert, you are the obvious choice to officiate.

EDIT:: Last minute rule change...
-- Drunkenly knock over the board or mess up all the game pieces and Cam gets your sister.

I like those rules! It's very similar to drinking Jenga.

Sisters....!

My sister is 65 years old and overweight. Are you sure about that rule?

Will a commercial sized garbage bag fit over her?

I'd be happy to officiate. Grad school taught me how to spend entire evenings as the only sober person in the room. It also taught me how to have MY fun the morning after.


"Ya know, Don, last night you told Sarah that you wouldn't sleep with her again if she had 3 poozles."

"Oh, My God! I did?"

"Yes, you did. Then on a napkin, you drew a diagram of where her "poozles" might be located, threw it in front of her, and started making out with Kathy."

"I'm a dead man."

"Well, then, you should go apologize to her right now. And don't forget to say you're sorry for whizzing on her suede jacket."

"Oh, shit! The jacket her brother gave her before he died in that motorcycle crash?"

"The same."

Sobriety has its percs.

"I don't drink alcohol"

How do you get it into your body then?

I've repented for all my sins, and no more alcohol. Don't you know that May 21 is Judgment Day....

. Witty, Lampy!

I am seriously considerated BoobKai's plea.

Here is my plan.
Change the other persons name to something like Member456 or something.
Then change Bob's name to Honey Badger and then lock it.

RE: DENVER

I'm totally cool with either. And I'm completely serious about trying to do this.

Although there is plenty o' sin to be had in Denver, (I'll show you---my dog envies my sense of smell), it may seem less intimidating to wifeys.

I'll just arrive 2 days earlier to get all the scouting done. There simply aren't as many cocktail waitresses there as in Vegas.

Oh, my. It's windy today.

It's not like it's gonna mess up your hair.

And it's 60 out there!

You know, Bob-Dot, I should apologize.

You brought out a truly brilliant and creative concept (Axiom CES in Vegas) and I immediately said "yeah, but how about..."

That wasn't cool. It was selfish. I'm sorry.

Who sent out the memo stating that we're supposed to be diplomatic to Bob?