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season's greetings
#361886 12/26/11 05:57 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
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J
J. B. Offline OP
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this text was composed by kbarnes on another forum; i pass it on here for your appreciation.

J.B.


Christmas greetings by kbarnes.

Friends, I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on advice I wish to say the following: Please accept with no obligation , implied or implicit , my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive , gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious, secular persuasions and or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012 , but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great ( not to imply that the U.S. is necessarily greater than any other country ) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee . By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms : This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her, him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher . Best Regards (without prejudice) Name withheld (Privacy Act)

Re: season's greetings
J. B. #361890 12/26/11 06:45 PM
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devotee
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Awesome post!


FireGuy
M22V3/M3ti/M2V3/Omega Super 5/Aperion 5C/OutlawLFM1+Sub/Denon AVR1906/YamDVDC750/AS AMP110
Re: season's greetings
FireGuy #361896 12/26/11 10:37 PM
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axiomite
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Ditto that, but I think he left "gender" out of the following sentence.

"I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012 , but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great ( not to imply that the U.S. is necessarily greater than any other country ) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee."


Jack

"People generally quarrel because they cannot argue." - G. K. Chesterton
Re: season's greetings
Ajax #361904 12/27/11 01:01 AM
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shareholder in the making
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Crappy secular lawyer!


::::::: No disrespect to Axiom, but my favorite woofer is my yellow lab :::::::
Re: season's greetings
MarkSJohnson #361935 12/27/11 01:16 PM
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Was it written by Lionel Hutz?


Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.
Re: season's greetings
MarkSJohnson #361943 12/27/11 02:58 PM
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Originally Posted By: MarkSJohnson
Crappy secular lawyer!


Is there a word for triple redundancy?
Tridundancy?


Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.
Re: season's greetings
BobKay #361946 12/27/11 03:42 PM
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No need for lawyerly weasel words.

Anybody who has been to their local Wally world or Worst Buy on Boxing Day knows the true meaning of Christmas in our society.

Merry Christmas and a Bah Humbug to you all.


Fred

-------
Blujays1: Spending Fred's money one bottle at a time, no two... Oh crap!
Re: season's greetings
fredk #361948 12/27/11 03:46 PM
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I'm guessing you were forced to be one of them?


Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.

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