Axiom Home Page Forums General Discussion The Water Cooler It's NOT all in your head.

A compact pick up truck discussion only reinforces Bob's argument.

Damn, now I want some chocolate.

Maybe ice cream.

It's a vet that hasn't come home!

Or, it could be a down filled comforter.

You CAN NOT be serious! It says you owned a Subaru. You ARE a lesbian!!!!

You know, for an area where almost everyone's family was derived from fishermen and farmers at some point in their recent history, the culture has slowly become very open and while definitely not perfect and we still have some catching up to do, "homosexuality" is no longer the dirty word that it used to be.

"Metrosexual" however, well.... we need to chat.

I know. That's why it's not fun anymore.

Andrew is definitely a metrosexual!

Yeah, that just happened, buddy!

Ya, it's been a slippery slope since I replaced my big trail modded Jeep Rubicon with a Toyota Tacoma. I think I can still be saved though. I just need a weekend with you, a couple of your cute caregivers and some beer Jenga.

Can “litmus” exist without “test?”

In order to either allay your fears, or to confirm them, I have devised this “Am I a Metrosexual?” test.

Keep your own score. Interpretation of score totals will be revealed at a later date.

“Yes” = 1 pt.
“No” = 0 pts.

1. I can make a mojito
2. I like mojitos (add 1)
3. There are products in the bathroom that are mine, but are not shampoo, soap, or for shaving
4. I drive a two-door car
5. It is a convertible (add 2)
6. It is a Saab convertible (add 3)
7. It is neither #’s 4, 5 or 6, but it is a Subaru (add 4)
8. I can still remember my favorite Pouilly Fusse
9. I know what happens to hollandaise when you add tarragon
10. I have bought kitchen utensils for my own use
11. I can point to the placard on my shirt
12. I own a nail file
13. Our household subscribes to a food mag
14. Our household subscribes to a wine mag (add 1)
15. I know what “Dwell” is
16. I care about what kind/brand of slippers I wear
17. There are no holes in any of my socks or underwear
18. I talk to my mother more than twice a week
19. My mother is dead, but I still talk to her (add 2)
20. I have used the term “window treatment”
21. I can laugh at Sophia Vergara w/o noticing her cleavage (freebie)
22. I cannot stand my son’s boyfriend
23. I have read “Men’s Health”
24. I have subscribed to “Men’s Health” (if “yes,” then this test is over now for you)
25. When I compliment my wife’s new outfit, I know what the fabrics are made from and how much those f’n shoes really cost
26. I can fashion cool drink and plate garnishes
27. In a nice restaurant, I have commented on the plate presentation
28. When buying underwear, color is a consideration
29. I live in Seattle
30. I wish I lived in Seattle (add 2)
31. I consider female artists and musicians to be equal to their male counterparts
32. While in the check-out aisle, I have flipped through Cosmopolitan to speed-read “This technique will drive your man crazy” articles
33. I belong to a gym
34. I have friends at the gym (add 1)
35. I have made friends at the gym who are now my everyday friends (add 2)
36. I do not need GPS to locate the nearest charcouterie
37. I pay more than $15 for a haircut (over $30, add 1)
38. I know which brands are the best, no matter the products
39. I know my wife’s favorite clothing designer
40. I have seen at least one episode of “Sex and the City”
41. I frequent a dog park
42. I frequent a dog park, but do not own a dog (add 1)
43. I own a cat (add 1)
44. I own more than one cat (add 2)
45. …and I live alone (add 3)
46. I have played an integral role in choosing what goes into our house
47. I have made many of those choices alone (add 1)
48. I have been given permission to make those choices alone (add 2)
49. I am deferred to when those choices arise (add 3)
50. I am not gay