Update:

Right after starting this thread I tried listening to everything flat, but that only lasted 2 nights. My M60's just sounded very flat, small, and weak when listening to music this way.

Quickly I returned to cranking up the bass and treble which satisfied the thumpy bass and shimmering highs that I like. Unfortunately the clarity took a big hit, so now I was stuck craving the clarity of no tone controls while I had the bass/treble cranked and craving the impact/feel of the music when the tone controls were off - frustrations galore!!!

Last night I had an idea that I hadn't tried before. I have always had my main speakers far away from both the back wall and side wall. About 2 1/2 feet from the back wall and 4 feet from the side wall (my room is an 18' x 23' rectangle and the speakers are on one of the 18' walls).

I had always read on forums that the more you can move speakers out from the wall the better, so I have always done that. Also, I changed my mains to large and turned the subs off. I've tried that before, but when I did my speakers were far from the walls so it didn't seem to do much.

Well, I moved my speakers about 6 inches from the back wall and 1 foot from the side wall.

Suddenly my m60's sounded big... I had to check twice just to make sure my tone controls were really flat. Wow, tight and controled bass at the same time? I thought that was just a pipe dream.

I know my new speaker placement is a big no-no, but man it sounds better. It's not perfect and I can really tell the difference between albums now, but I think I may have found my solution that I have been looking for for years now. I would still like a bit more tactile feel/slam from the bass, but it's soo much better than the former speaker placement with flat tone controls.

I don't want to get too excited because there have been many times that I thought I had found what I was looking for only to realize after a few days that it wasn't so great after all.

I was really getting bummed out, because my favorite past time is listening to music but it was like I was force feeding myself something I didn't really like all that much. I hope this is the answer...