My man sheet is in tatters:

-1: no post hole digger
-5: enjoys Zima
+1: enjoys Guinness
-6: giggles moreso than laughs (imagine Homer in giddy delight, or Frank Burns)
+1: has Bowflex
-1: does not use Bowflex

We could go on and on...

Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.