It also depends on the media. I have a Denon that for most music I listen at -12db. Some titles need to be set down to -18db, and some up as high as -6db.
When using the XBox360 and watching HD-DVD a get an even greater variance in volume. Some titles work great at -10db, while some need to be pushed to reference (0db).
But, I would guess -43db is too low on any system.