Golden Oldie (from Dan Galvin's Thought for the Day listserv)
tftd heard a lawyer talk about 'unmitigated gall'. tftd
has previously wondered about 'clement' weather and now
questioned whether there was 'mitigated gall'. Others
have obviously had the same question.
How I Met My Wife
Jack Winter, the New Yorker, July 25, 1994.
It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party
I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled
and consolate.
I was furling my weildy umbrella for the coat check when
I saw her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript
person, a woman in a state of total array. Her hair was
kempt, her clothing shevelled, and she moved in a gainly way.
I wanted desperately to meet her, but I knew I'd have
to make bones about it, since I was travelling cognito.
Beknowst to me, the hostess, whom I could see both
hide and hair of, was very proper, so it would be skin
off my nose if anything bad happened. And even though
I had only swerving loyalty to her, my manners couldn't
be peccable. Only toward and heard-of behavior would do.
Fortunately, the embarrassment that my maculate
appearance might cause was evitable. There were two
ways about it, but the chances that someone as
flappable as I would be ept enough to become
persona grata or a sung hero were slim. I was, after all,
something to sneeze at, someone you could easily
hold a candle to, someone who usually aroused
bridled passion.
So I decided not to risk it. But then, all at once,
for some apparent reason, she looked in my
direction and smiled in a way that I could
make head or tails of.
I was plussed. It was concerting to see that she was
communicado, and it nerved me that she was
interested in a pareil like me, sight seen. Normally,
I had a domitable spirit, but, being corrigible, I
felt capacitated.as if this were something I was
great shakes at.and forgot that I had succeeded
in situations like this only a told number of times.
So, after a terminable delay, I acted with mitigated gall
and made my way through the ruly crowd with strong givings.
Nevertheless, since this was all new hat to me and
I had not time to prepare a promptu speech, I was
petuous. Wanting to make only called-for remarks,
I started talking about the hors d'oeuvres, trying to
abuse her of the notion that I was sipid, and perhaps
even bunk a few myths about myselfs.
She responded well, and I was mayed that she
considered me a savoury character who was up to
some good. She told me who she was.
"What a perfect nomer," I said, advertently. The
conversation became more and more choate,
and we spoke at length to much avail. But I was
defatigable, so I had to leave at a godly hour.
I asked if she wanted to come with me. To my delight,
she was committal. We left the party together and have
been together ever since. I have given her my love, and
she has requited it.
-Smackerels
http://beebo.org/smackerels/how-i-met-my-wife.html
