I wish I hadn't caved in the beginning and got more clout on the wall color choice..... bah
Is there any chance this is just a case of your wife really liking the current colour, since it sounds like she more or less picked it ?
The good thing here is that much of your discomfort with current colour seems to be how it looks with the lights on, so at least you will be on common ground when talking about new colours for that part of the discussion.
It is pretty hard to find colours that will look good with lights on (which is the way your wife will judge them) and which have optimal performance when the theater is running (which is the way you will judge them) so maybe wider masking as brwsaw suggested, even extending to the first part of the side walls, might be a solution there.
