After a night of interesting dreams, I awoke to find a most curious menagerie gazing at me from the foot of the bed: a hippo, birdie, two ewes. Now I love animals -- don't get me wrong -- but I couldn't get up to pet them because I'm quite modest when it comes to exposed flesh. You see, beneath the sheets I was as naked as I was 10227 days ago.

Although I admit I've seen these animals precisely 27 times before today, they still catch me by surprise each time.