Well, Rich, I'm happy to say that I rather liked your second recipe! So that's what I've been doing wrong all this time--no sugar!
I also found a recipe for my wife--I'll use recipes on here when I have the ingredients---which I'll share here, since she seemed to like it. Well, I sort of adapted it per her specifications, so here goes:
1 oz Godiva Liqueur
1 oz Malibu Rum
1 oz Heavy Cream
1/2 oz brandy (this didn't go in this time, but I'm including it for completeness)
The original recipe, of course, calls for Cointreau or the like, but she prefers coconut with her chocolate.
Addendum: she just tasted my margarita and declared it quite drinkable, sans the salt on the rim.