I'm lucky in that my fiancee let me do what ever I wanted with the stereo since that was 'my domain' according to her. Hell she even let me put in my 'HT closet' idea which I more or less mentioned jokingly as I never would have dreamed she'd allow for something like that in her living room. Perhaps our situation is different from everyone else's, but I moved into HER house and started working with her in the photography studio she's owned and operated for 12 years. So it's basically 'her' business that I'm now helping to operate, therefore the shoe is kind of on the other foot in our situation. I did bring plenty of money into the equation, but still, this is her house (even though she calls it 'ours').
What I'm getting at, is even though this isn't 'my' house, as in I don't pay all the bills all by myself, my name isn't the only name on the mortguage (or even on it at all in this case), and I'm not the only, or at least the 'major' bread winner of the family, I do expect some level of communication if she would decide to change anything around here. In other words if I came home one day and my speakers were all gone and in their place stood some potted plants or statue's of some sort and when I asked about them her reply was, "well this is my house after all, and I really wanted those so I figured I'd get them".... well, lets just say I would not be very thrilled.
And this is where most of you who may be the major income or the only income... or perhaps you've owned your own house for years and just recently had a woman move in, need to understand the position that puts them in. It's basically the position I'm in. No I don't own this house, but yes I do contribute, and yes I would expect at the very least a heads up before something major or drastic was to be purchased, and would certainly appreciate 50& input in the decision beyond that. So anyone who thinks, "well this is my house, so I should be able to buy whatever I like, and if she doesn't like it, tough", then I could see where the partner in the situation would feel peaved no matter how great the speakers/subwoofer might be.
And I'm not pointing any fingers around here, I'm only portraying the other side for anyone who may not have given it any thought. I'd say I was probably guilty of this myself in my last house that I bought and owned for 12 years throught 3 serious relationships (2 wives and a girlfriend of 4 years). I'd say once the first wife moved out I probably pushed my weight around a bit more than what I should have. Not that I really ever remembered having anyone complain about my basement home theater, but I suppose I never was as thoughtful as I could have been when getting the equipment I did. Like I said, now that the shoe is on the other foot I can see how even with the best of intentions, it's still curtious to discuss a major purchase no matter who's pocket it's coming out of.
Its a lot easier on the relationship when my wife enjoys the setup as well, even if sound quality and fidelity is not high on her list.
