Axiom Home Page Forums General Discussion The Water Cooler CLOCKY

It's OK, Ken. One of them will be getting up for YOU all night long when you're in late senile dementia AND incontinent.

After weeks of being up every two hours, I finally got him a "bathroom" buzzer. BIG mistake.

Eventually, I bought a video monitor. It took weeks before I had the time to set it up. First night with it, I still kept waking every two hours to look at it on the nightstand.

I couldn't believe I got through a whole night without him being restless or buzzing me. "This monitor is GREAT," I thought. I got up at 6 a.m. and went into his room to check on him. Ohhh, no wonder the buzzer never went off! No wonder he never moved! Jeesh! And all this time I thought it was just a pathetic attempt to get attention. My bad.

I remember hearing about Clocky some years ago. Seems like it was a student project at MIT or something. I've often entertained the idea of buying something like that for my daughter. She is 16 and is apparently incapable of removing herself from her bed. Seriously.

I'm considering The Sensory Assault Alarm Clock, but I think I might have to rig up some bass shakers and just use it as a switch or something. And - honestly - I don't think it's loud enough.

That's why I'm taken with the Screaming Meanie which goes to 120db and requires a three-button press for final shutoff.

Christmas is going to be special this year.

Tom, if you get her that, she will, someday, put you in one of those homes you see on 20/20.

Tom, have you considered (or tried) direct current.
They do a lot of work with that, too, at MIT.

Direct Current---It works, bitches!

They gonna try to do that to you anyway, so GO FOR IT!

Yes, some days, I need to be the one who amuses me.

The alternative seems to be her mother or I pulling her out of her bed until one of us busts a hip or something.

I don't think she wants to go away to college because of this. I'm really starting to get worried.

I think this all has great potential for some kind of Rube Goldberg, groupthink constructofest.

I'm not good with relays and stuff, but might be willing to learn. It seems like it would be cathartic to drop something on her - like icewater or ping-pong balls. But, then, how do you reload it and clean up the mess?

I kind of like the bass-shaker idea, but I don't know that it would really work.

Perhaps some kind of pneumatic lift on one side of the bed.

Hmmmm.

All right, then. If you don't like the Direct Current idea, how's 'bout a/c. She has an outlet in her room, right?

As a teen I once ended the Xmas tree lights with an outlet instead of a plug, so I went and made a two-sided plug. It woulda been OK, had I thought to plug it into the tree lights, THEN into the wall.

Threw me across the room up against the sofa.

You're welcome. Happy to help.

I thinking a modified, lower-voltage ceiling-mounted taser might work.

I've heard frozen marbles work wonders. Drop them in the bed, and they always roll towards the dip in the bed your body creates.

Awesome idea! Though I'm sure that anything small and spherical that you put in the freezer for 15 minutes would also work.