Axiom Home Page Forums General Discussion Home Theater HELP!!!!!...The wife just threw a curveball !!!!!!

OK......I have been lurking here for months reading all about the different speakers and setups....building spreadsheets comparing costs....posting about room-size and speaker setups. Now, I have been laying the seeds for my purchase ever since then. I was originally looking at a M60, QS8, VP150 setup, but have since trimmed things down to a M22, QS4, and VP150 setup. However much I wanted the M60s, I can't make that expensive jump w/ only a 10'by 18' listening space. They may sound a bit more full (according to the resident experts), but my room constraints I believe are going to be overwhelmed by the setup.....not to mention the wallet.

So, over the last couple days, I have been selling the savings and the quality of music and clarity we are still going to get for under $1K. I thought I had the sale complete.....to the point that I was going to give a call to Axiom tonight to put this to rest.

Now....15 minutes before closing time, the wife dropped this on me...."Why can't we just take the whole setup from up here and move it down into the basement (new HT under construction)?"....GASP!!!!! In her defense, we do have our first baby on the way (just found out today...it's a girl), so we have the impending expenses, etc. But, she is proposing that I bring down my 15 year old Yamaha main speakers and the pawn shop Infinity center channel.....which brings me to my present position.

HELP!!!.... Please give me the magic formula for convincing the wife that the absolute quantum leap in audio quality is worth the sacrifice. She has heard the high end speakers at Hifi Buys and can definitely appreciate the difference. Unfortunately, enough time has passed to make her forget the massive difference between that sound quality and the sub-par quality that we have in our present setup.

"Oh....the horror!"

The power of the 30day in home trial can definately be used to your advantage in this situation. Tell her if she doesnt like them that you can always return them. Just start with the M22's, and work from there with her.

Problem is this....I already used the 5% off for waiving the return policy card. So, she already knows that it's a done deal if we place the order.

Maybe I need to just thump my fists on my chest and tell her that I'm going to do it, no matter what!!!!.....

...or just drop to my knees and beg.

There you go! The first option that is.

Well you could always Ebay your current system and apply the difference to your new system that you want. Then make your wife audition the new system with you. After a few movies she may change her mind and want to keep the new system.

My situation was a little more scary - I had just received my m60's, VP150, QS8's and EP350. my wife saw how big the boxes were and freaked. I had to convince her that this was my last upgrade for the next 10 years. After a little begging I also threw in that I would take her on a club med vaction - deal sealed and I got what I wanted but it cost me double!

Good luck!

I would tell her that this is the time to buy. Once the Kids arrive the money flow stops for a number of years and you could find yourself without HT equipment due to the age of it. I happened to impress my wife with the sound quality of the VP 100 and QS4's that she let me buy the M22's and exhange the surrounds to the QS8's (the 4's had a different tweeter at the time). I new I was lucky to have married her.

Well I think the only thing for you to do is take your current speakers downstairs...... be careful ....oops you dropped them. Damaged beyond repair, how sad

Congrats on the new baby!

Our advice here can only go so far, since you alone are privy to all the negotiating stances (such as, how much "relationship equity" and "personal spending equity" you have in the emotional-wife-tolerance bank).

My wife really gets into the improvement in music, but she could care less about the center and surrounds, and actively dislikes subs, so I can relate to your home-marketing dilemma here.

What I'd push is that children mark a MAJOR transition for everyone. In your case, you'll be in the cave LOTS more, and on a quasi-permanent basis, at least for years to come. That's where this drive to "improve the cave" is coming from. A HT upgrade will be your end of the deal, so to speak -- clearly, the child is a benefit from heaven better than anything else. But on the more mundane side, you'll be giving up many outside activities, esp ease of access to activities, that make you feel like a whole person. In exchange for giving that up, you want (and feel you deserve) something, and the HT is your vote.

Do that, AND suggest she find something for herself (or better yet, help her find it and actively support spending on it), and you may have a shot. Worked for me -- TWICE, on #1 4 years ago, whose arrival ushered in the first 5.1 purchase, and #2 this year, who heralded my transition to Axiom.

Birdman

I think I would be much more relaxed and helpful with the newborn if I had a private sanctuary with high end audio equipment in to go to to unwind!! My 2c.

Those are some very good points Austin that i had never previously thought about, which being a 20 year old college kid is definately a good thing.

Dog,

Sell the wife. This will solve several problems 1) you can get the M60s/VP150/QS8 combo, 2) clearly eliminates the groveling requirement, now and in the future and 3) may allow for larger digs, depending on the sale price.

If you find that is not a viable solution, then the M22s are good and you can drop to the VP100 and Qs4 selections. Frankly, this will still be a massive improvement over the selection you will be dropping, er carrying to the basement. A sub would be a good thing if you can swing it and the STF-1 should be up to the duty plus be a bit cheaper.

I may have missed this earkier, but have you also taken advantage of the 15% factory outlet discount and the 5% for 5+ pieces discount? You may end up waiting a bit longer, but that's better than not at all.

BTW, there have been several suggestions on how to negotiate. I should remind all - you are MARRIED. For the rest of your life, you will wake up each day to find out what your opinion is. That's how negotiation works in a marriage.

Good luck with it.

You should use the old "it'll enhance our marriage" line. I've only been married for half a year or so - and this argument/suggestion has gotten my foot in the home theater door nicely. She's given me a $5,000 budget, for everything, from soup to nuts (I will need to buy a complete new system, including TV, reciever, cables, SPEAKERS!!!!, etc.)

I keep telling her how much quality time that we will be able to spend, cuddling on the couch, enjoying our favorite movies and TV. This, I tell her, will enhance our marriage.

Now, she knows that I am just tryingto be cute when I say this, and I know that HT will not enhance oru marriage, but, it a nice way to contextualize the purchase with the relationship. She also feels like she's being a trooper for letting me buy "men's" toys (even though she knows that she'll enjoy it as much as I will).

Every woman has a key that will open her up to suggestion. Mine may not work for you (because my wife wasn't very hard to convince on this issue). The trick is to make her recognize what the purchase will do for her and the family. I suggest buying a HT for the new baby, so that when she's little, the whole family can watch movies at home, just like they were at the movies!

Man oh man... You guys are making me think I should perpetually date. In all honesty I am trying to buy all the tools and electronics I can now (one quality piece at a time so they last) so that when I do get married I'll be set for a while at least. Problem is I can't buy anything too big (aka, no nice tv for me...although a projector...?) because I'm gonna be moving around more before I settle down. My current girlfriend is pretty awesome though, in that she likes it when I fix her stuff (tools instantly justified), and she forces me to watch more movies than I knew existed (HT setup instantly justified). So I know that if I marry this one, she'll be ok with my hobbies.

One thing I recently discovered that made me feel more justified in my speaker purchase, might help you out as well:

Keep the old speakers! Buy a used 5.1 reciever for $100 from somewhere, and set it up in your bedroom (or wherever.) Now for essentially the same amount you were going to spend, you have a great HT setup, and a whole other room is wired up and ready to go. 2 for 1, can't beat that. In a few years when junior is watching kids movies, she can be relaxing upstairs to her favorite tunes while you watch "Buckaroo Barney Across the 8th Dimension" for the 3000th time!

In regards to:

"So I know that if I marry this one, she'll be ok with my hobbies."

Er ... UNTIL you marry might be more accurate. You may have been onto something with your initial comment about how we all made you feel.

Bman

I think that you should try a different tactic altogether. You must keep telling her (and do it with a serious face) that you are doing this for the sake of the children. Keep using the line "Just because I have gone through life with a mediocre sound system doesn't mean that OUR children have to." You may want to practice that in the mirror a few times.

Wow, where's BrenR with his comment about misogyny when you need him!

In defense of marriage and wives -- life becomes very dull if you get to do exactly what you want all the time with no resistance. Your mind turns to mush without challenges.

My advice to you? Only you can know whether your wife has really put her foot down or not. If you really want the Axioms, now is the time to buy -- before all your discretionary funds are sucked up by diapers and other baby-related costs.

On the other hand, with a new baby in the house, you're not going to have much time to enjoy your new Axioms unless you don't mind neglecting the new child and your wife -- and trust me, the temptation is often great.

So the way I interperet this is: Once my income becomes "our" income, I can't spend it as I wish anymore, but she becomes able to? Let me know how far from the target I am. I knew about the whole:

%(arguments won) = ((#years married)^2 + 2)^(-1)

business. I was hoping the formula for:
%(disposable income spent)
was a little more optimistic...

Well, here's what we do:

Our paychecks go (mostly) to the joint account. Each of us has our own personal account. Both of us keep back the same amount of money each month for our own personal use. She buys shoes/clothes/whatever every few months, and saves a lot more than I do. I buy expensive stuff, and consequentially, never have any money. It works out ok. Plus whenever I get something expensive that we'll both be using, she'll usually throw in some extra money.

OK, that's very reasonable. I think I could live comfortably with such an arrangement. (I'm assuming that things like bills, gifts for the kids, home improvement projects, furniture, etc, all come from the shared account.)

Generally speaking, yes. (Given that we don't have kids and haven't bought new furniture for years.)

The kicker is to come to a financial agreement that is not set in stone (i.e. avoid a prenup at all costs!), so that it can be adjusted later if it begins to feel burdensome to one party or the other.

if you have the money-you work-you want them-just order them-thats what i do. you might hear blah blah blah for a little while,but it goes away...good luck and congrats on the baby.....ron

"you might hear blah blah blah for a little while,but it goes away"

It is true that it goes away. And then it only comes back anytime you want to buy anything else for the rest of your life.

Yikes...reading this thread just reminded me how happy I am being divorced and just living with my cat. The cat is fine with whatever I buy, as long as I let him play with the box it came in for a while...and no, he has never touched my new Axiom speakers.
b.

Tinfoil--your right,it does come back,but last month i came home with a new truck without discussing it with my wife and when she saw it in the driveway she asked whose it was and i said-mine-then there was about 10 seconds of silence and the day went on like nothing happened----go figure---i guess shes getting used to it---i hope......ron

Well.....I go to work and come back to a bunch of responses. Gotta love a post that leads down the road to bigger issues, such as marriage. Some quick responses:

Ford - Don't think I can go the "whoops" route. Though these old Yammy dogs are pretty bad, they took me all the way through college and beyond.

Birdman - I tried a lot of the arguments posted here and most ended up w/ rolled eyes and chuckles. (She is aware of my plea for assistance) She actually stopped and did a "hmmmm" after trying the cave one.

Capn & Tinfoil- Yours took the biggest roll of the eyes. "No, you didn't just go there w/ the good of our marriag and our family" Didn't think she'd buy that.....plus, couldn't keep straight face

Ray - Don't think I can sell the wife....though the thought crosses my mind from time to time. As far as dropping components.....not gonna go that route. Ringmir's suggestion about having a second setup was/is my plan.

Ringmir - Go for the projector. When she sees a movie on the big screen for the first time, she will be in heaven. Also, I agree w/ Birdman, that love for the hobbies dulls a bit when you have the house, kids, etc pulling her attention. She'll love your hobbies when they're up and working. Prior to that, it's always a hard sell going for the big toys.

RCVECC - I agree w/ tinfoil, the blah blah blah goes away initially, but it comes back to haunt you on those big purchases. They don't forget....they NEVER forget. It's hard to fight back when her impulse buys are $65 purses and yours are speakers, endless computer upgrades, a projector, more speakers....etc.

Well, in the end, I think that she has given up on her position. The combination of Birdmans cave argument, the second theater for the kid, the end of personal spending, and to just plain shut me up about it has put this one to rest.

Thanks for everyone's input. Together, I have won the battle....at least that's what she wants me to think. This is just leverage she has to get what she wants. After all, it's a fool who thinks he wears the pants.

In reply to:

---

Together, I have won the battle....at least that's what she wants me to think. This is just leverage she has to get what she wants. After all, it's a fool who thinks he wears the pants.

---

Well said. I too am constantly hearing about what she gets to buy now.

This has been a very depressing thread to follow. I can't smell B-B-Q, there's no sounds of beer cans popping, no power tools running, no muscle cars pulling out with a roar.

Rumor has it, and I haven't been able verify this myself, that you guys will be hosting a personal visit this weekend from the Esteem and Boldness police. The bad news is that each of you will be receiving several demerits on your Man Card. Ya know, if it's OK with your wives.

I'm signing off now. I need to go ask my wife if I'm tired and need to go to bed.

Just for you Ray I'm drinking some scotch, while I still can...

A man marries a woman thinking she'll never change, and she always does. A woman marries a man thinking he WILL change, and he doesn't.

I learned a long time ago that my job in life is to show up and pay for things.

Ray's right this has been a depressing thread. I think I will go see what has been happening in the beer thread just to regain a few points on the man card.
Or better yet, go out to the garage and change the injectors in my car. A job I have been putting off since I received my speakers.

You frat boys all think alike.

Some of you have seen this most likely, but given the thread is here I figure I should share it (and this is not my web site or anything, just a quick google search)...

proof that girls are evil

Just a quick update:

The wife gave in to my logic and reasoning....Thanks all for your participation in the tag-team effort.

I just placed an order w/ Axiom for a set of factory M22s, VP150, and QS8s. All I have to say is "WOOOOOHOOOO!!!!"

Just a little sour taste to the transaction....I waited so damn long that I missed out on the 5% off for waiving the return policy. They informed me that an email went out last thursday killing that offering......Just my luck. As usual, dwelling too long on decisions shot me in the foot.

Oh well......I HAVE SPEAKERS COMING!!!! Feels being a kid again watching the calender in anticipation of Christmas in 8 weeks.....Man, that's going to be a long time to wait.

Congrats Turbodog! I have the same setup and love it. Did I miss (due to thread-jacking that I decided to 10ft pole) what sub you have/will order?

Your impressions once they arrive and are setup would be much appreciated.

I almost got away w/out divulging that. I have a JBL PB10 that I've had for some time. It's great for movies...great "boom" factor, but I'm pretty concerned that it's not going to pull it's weight on music. My intention is to give it a shot for a little while and then probably upgrade in the not so distant future. I have already laid the groundwork w/ the better half, but want to spread out the expense a bit.

I had a PB10 until last summer when I replaced it with a HSU STF-2. Whether you go HSU or SVS or Axiom, I think you'll be be pleased with the tighter, smoother bass response. As you noted, the PB10 isn't all that bad , but it tends to be boomier than the alternatives.

Thanks, AJAX. I was going to follow up my comments to see if anyone had experienced the difference between the JBL and the HSUs. Like I said, the JBL will be the sub for a little while until I make the next plunge. Therefore, I want to know whether the difference is really that drastic. It's going to be harder for me to sell the idea of a $400 sub when my entire 5 speaker setup went for $900. However, if the sub's performance is noticeably inferior in this musical role, it will be a lot easier to sell. Thanks ahead for your input.

"I want to know whether the difference is really that drastic."

Tough question to answer. And, I can in no way predict what differences (if any) you will notice. Now, with the disclaimer out of the way:

I'd be very surprised if you didn't prefer the HSU/SVS/ Axiom, to the PB10. My PB10 was the second sub I'd ever owned. The first was an 8 inch JBL that came with a(an?) HTIB. I felt the PB10 was superior because it played louder and deeper. If I had never purchased the HSU, I believe I would have been content with the PB10; the old "ignorance is bliss" factor. But when I set up the HSU, the first thing I noticed was that the bass frequencies were "tighter" (i.e. less boomy) The HSU Plays a little deeper (to 25Hz) than the PB10 (27Hz), but quality bass reproduction is not just about "deep" and "loud." I'm not technically oriented enough to use the correct technical terms, but the HSU was just "smoother" and "tighter." I should tell you that I'm an old guy, and do not listen at extremely loud volume; loud, but not extremely loud.

Is the difference "drastic"? Yes and no. The difference is subtle. BUT, if you are aware of the difference, that "subtle" difference is "drastic." For me, it was.

I wouldn't feel deprived if, for awhile, you find it necessary to stick with the PB10. But, in the long run, save your pennies and, when it's affordable, get yourself a HSU/SVS/Axiom. You'll be glad you did.

Dog, I'm still hanging on to the original advice I gave you - Sell the wife. This almost ALWAYS results in toy improvement.

Now that we've got that out of the way again, Jack has done as good a job explaining this issue as might be done. A sub is better than no sub. A good sub is better than an OK sub. A great sub is a thing of beauty that is hard to define. Your JBL falls into the "better than no sub" category. The SVS/HSU recommendation is 2 levels up. They take you from loud, muddy noise to a real enhancement to your HT. The difference is being able to hear a note start and stop on a bass guitar. An explosion is clearly definable with a start/stop, versus something that sounds like a roll of thunder. If $ are a concern, the room you have will be very well supported by a HSU VTF-2 or STF-2. A good sub may be more important than surrounds.

This is just one old guy helping another old guy (Jack) out, but you really owe it to yourself to get the sub.

Thanks Jack and Ray for your input. The reality is that I know that I'm going to have to get a sub. The upstairs legacy system will need one for movies. So, it's not really a question of "if or should", but rather a question of "when". I just wanted to get a feel for what to expect in that interim.

Again, thanks for everyone's input. I will go back to sitting on my hands waiting for Christmas to arrive.