A Bear and a rabbit were taking a @#$% in the woods. And the bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Excuse me, do you have problems with @#$% sticking to your fur?" And the rabbit says, "No." So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

What can I say, I have been on a delirious kick lately.

I’m armed and I’m drinking. You don’t want to listen to advice from me, amigo.

-Max Payne