It has often been said that “Things were never as good as you remembered them…or as bad.” Well, said by me anyways. The thing is Star Wars was a phenomenon that will never be reproduced for you child the way it was for you. If you were anything like me, you remember standing in line for HOURS (or minutes, I was young and had a short attention span) and you could FEEL the excitement in the air (or static electricity from kicking your shoes against the carpet). Regardless, you KNEW you were a part of something special. It was the first movie I ever saw more than once in the theater, and my parents had to take me. You would have to go through extraordinary lengths to reproduce that experience for your child…….sooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Now, as a disclaimer, I am not actually advocating that you implement any of the following advice as it could be dangerous, is most certainly illegal, and quite possibly scar your children emotionally and physically for life. Ok, so your boy is 6 and you want them to have an “authentic” Star Wars experience. Hmmm….
You could lock them in a room for a few years with little to no human contact, then release them and give them a long hug while watching the movie. Most certainly be emblazoned on their minds as a positive and life changing experience – but the wife might not approve.
You could sit down and explain to them, in excruciating detail, all the economic, political, and societal factors in play during the time of the movie's original release, and ask them to view the movie in light of all of the contextual cues at work in your life at the time – though who wants to do all that homework?
You could have them watch every sci-fi movie ever made before Star Wars in chronological order of release so to help them understand exactly how groundbreaking it really was – but that would totally tie up your Netflix list for like…a year or something. Totally not worth it.
No, I think the way to go is to send the little one to live with an Aunt and Uncle, have them tell your little one that you’ve been killed, adopt a Cambodian daughter (long hair a must if you are going to tie them up in those buns), then give her away to some politician somewhere, don a black suit, cape, and helmet and take over the Universe…errr…World! The last, and most important, step is to wait 15 years or so and ask your son to join you in Ruling the Galaxy…err…World together as father and son. If he says “No”, you’re golden. Stop right there and let him know that this, THIS is what made Star Wars so great.” If he says “Yes”, slam the helmet down and say, “No, No, NO, you are supposed to say NO! You mess everything up! Go to your room.” Either way, he’ll have an unforgettable Star Wars experience.
Now the real question is whether you should make him watch the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings cartoons before the Peter Jackson masterpieces. That one will keep you up at night!
