You’re right that you shouldn’t work on yourself for others but rather for you, and if it’s not what you what right now I respect that. I’m purposely not looking to date right now because I like being single and unattached and plan to stay that way at least until I retire. There’s just not enough time in the day for me to work, do all the things I want to do, and have a relationship. Ah, but when I retire it’s back to university for me. My experience is that many young women do like older men (probability and upper limit to that but I’m willing to push the envelope). Should you choose to enter the fray again good luck and good hunting.