In reply to:

1. Bren is running for Canadian PM

Nah, not a chance - I can't toady and lie.
In reply to:

2. Bigjohn is a budding sculptor

Dictionary.com lists a bud as "A small, rounded organic part" - I don't think BigJohn has a budding ANYTHING.
In reply to:

3. BB doesn’t carry 25’ jalapenos

Only 25' habeneros, and they're THX certified.

Bren R.