OK, here's what she said:

You have to have a pilot light in your oven.

Use very, very, very lean beef-the trick is to cut off as much fat as possible. They use round steak.

Marinate in the fridge in salt, garlic salt, pepper, liquid smoke, turning frequently for about a day.

Hang it on drying racks (as in cookie drying racks) in the oven for 10-14 hours.

I am the Doctor, and THIS... is my SPOON!