I was told the following day that I did the exact same thing at my best friend's wedding a couple weeks ago. He told me that he was getting ready to take Julia's garter off while she sat in a chair in the middle of the dance floor, and apparently I drove right across the dance floor into the chair and pushed Julia right across the room.

That's what happens when you drink an entire bottle of wine yourself (and I never drink wine).

Here I am in all my glory-



The only reasonable argument for owning a gun is to protect yourself from the police.