Can “litmus” exist without “test?”
In order to either allay your fears, or to confirm them, I have devised this “Am I a Metrosexual?” test.
Keep your own score. Interpretation of score totals will be revealed at a later date.
“Yes” = 1 pt.
“No” = 0 pts.
1. I can make a mojito
2. I like mojitos (add 1)
3. There are products in the bathroom that are mine, but are not shampoo, soap, or for shaving
4. I drive a two-door car
5. It is a convertible (add 2)
6. It is a Saab convertible (add 3)
7. It is neither #’s 4, 5 or 6, but it is a Subaru (add 4)
8. I can still remember my favorite Pouilly Fusse
9. I know what happens to hollandaise when you add tarragon
10. I have bought kitchen utensils for my own use
11. I can point to the placard on my shirt
12. I own a nail file
13. Our household subscribes to a food mag
14. Our household subscribes to a wine mag (add 1)
15. I know what “Dwell” is
16. I care about what kind/brand of slippers I wear
17. There are no holes in any of my socks or underwear
18. I talk to my mother more than twice a week
19. My mother is dead, but I still talk to her (add 2)
20. I have used the term “window treatment”
21. I can laugh at Sophia Vergara w/o noticing her cleavage (freebie)
22. I cannot stand my son’s boyfriend
23. I have read “Men’s Health”
24. I have subscribed to “Men’s Health” (if “yes,” then this test is over now for you)
25. When I compliment my wife’s new outfit, I know what the fabrics are made from and how much those f’n shoes really cost
26. I can fashion cool drink and plate garnishes
27. In a nice restaurant, I have commented on the plate presentation
28. When buying underwear, color is a consideration
29. I live in Seattle
30. I wish I lived in Seattle (add 2)
31. I consider female artists and musicians to be equal to their male counterparts
32. While in the check-out aisle, I have flipped through Cosmopolitan to speed-read “This technique will drive your man crazy” articles
33. I belong to a gym
34. I have friends at the gym (add 1)
35. I have made friends at the gym who are now my everyday friends (add 2)
36. I do not need GPS to locate the nearest charcouterie
37. I pay more than $15 for a haircut (over $30, add 1)
38. I know which brands are the best, no matter the products
39. I know my wife’s favorite clothing designer
40. I have seen at least one episode of “Sex and the City”
41. I frequent a dog park
42. I frequent a dog park, but do not own a dog (add 1)
43. I own a cat (add 1)
44. I own more than one cat (add 2)
45. …and I live alone (add 3)
46. I have played an integral role in choosing what goes into our house
47. I have made many of those choices alone (add 1)
48. I have been given permission to make those choices alone (add 2)
49. I am deferred to when those choices arise (add 3)
50. I am not gay
