Micah: I wish you'd understand that, if any judgement was going down, it was about a singular behavior you chose to share here--a small branch, not the whole tree.
I had my first fatal cancer diagnosis @ 26. After my unexpected recovery, I got as wild as I could at every opportunity. When I got my 2nd fatal @ 40 is when I started jumping out of planes and doin' 135 across the NM/AZ desert. Needless to say, the "I'm really not afraid of death anymore" behaviors began to pile up. I even started smoking again.
Then I realized how difficult my jollies were for friends and family. I had survived fatal diseases twice, when I had no scientific reason, either time, to think that I would.
They were so thrilled to still have me (though my self-worth doesn't really allow people to feel that way) and couldn't believe I was, to them, daring to be dead of my own accord.
Like most of us, my fun can still be, even indirectly, at someone else's expense. It may not ever be an issue for some of them, until that one time, just that one.
So, I wish you the most sincere best of luck--from one who has pushed that luck well past its limits, to another.
And I stopped smoking 2 months ago. I'm not happy at all, so don't anybody f--k with me, OK?
