In society, it's unacceptable and rude to refer to someone with a physical disability, a gimp, or retarded (ignorant people, and there are many, assume that someone in a wheelchair is mentally incapacitated to some degree ) which is correct IMO.
Now, IMO, just because I adhere to that principle for society as a whole, doesn't mean that I have to adhere to it personally. I don't believe the aforementioned words should be directed to other people (that someone may not know), because they're offensive, but my friends and family use them with me all the time. I can almost guarantee that if you were my friend, you'd do the same because I find it funny, and humor is a way that gets me/us through life. In a way, we've created a pidgin or dialect because we only talk this way amongst ourselves, so it's not offensive, and my friends and family would never talk to someone else with a disability, the same as they do with me.
Well put Cam!
If another Marine calls me a “Jarhead” it’s a term of endearment. If a stranger, especially a Soldier, Airman or many Sailors say that, it might end up in a fight.
In line with your comment about people viewing people disabled as “mentally incapacitated” I had a run in with the “facilitator” of a human relations seminar at my last workplace over that. They showed a video of a woman, in a wheelchair, with a group of coworkers out at a restaurant. During the vignette the waitress deferred to the woman’s coworkers to order for her though she was not in any way mentally disabled. During the “facilitated” discussion following the vignette people were asked how to respond to such a situation. The universal answer, and the one the “facilitator” was looking for, was to show your indignation to the waitress and immediately correct her behavior. Having been physically disabled for 8 months following a motorcycle accident had a slightly different, though apparently unpopular, opinion. I said that it “was not my right to don my caped crusader outfit and drag my coworker out into the limelight making an example of the waitress just because her behavior made me feel uncomfortable.” I said “I would let my coworker handle the immediate situation and after all was said and done I would tell her how I felt and let her know that I would support any action she would like to take whether that be file a complaint with the manager, leave the restaurant, do nothing or anything else. The “facilitator” got red in the face and started wagging his finger at me saying “NO! NO! NO! At which point Larry, someone I’d met previously, helping him solve a UNIX problem, who was permanently in a wheelchair from a skiing accident threw his hand up in the air. The “facilitator” quickly called on him, probably seeing an out for himself. Larry said “Dean’s absolutely right! I’m never so insulted as when people think I want them to stand up for me simply because I can’t stand up myself. You should have seen the look on the “facilitator’s face, I wish I had a camera.
Self righteous people suck. Worse than that they scare the hell out of me. It’s where Nazis and Bolsheviks come from.
