I once paddled in a Davy Crockett Explorer Canoe and it was easily the hardest thing I did at Disneyland that day. Mainly because it was noon, 100 degrees, and the only way we were getting back to shade was to paddle ourselves back to the landing.

Um, except nobody else was f**king paddling!!! Except the guide and me. And yes, the little girl behind me must've thought hitting my paddle with hers was part of the "ride." I suggested she next visit "It's a Small World of Coordination."


I needed some Mickey Mouse Deodorant after that adventure.

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"Nothin' up my sleeve. . ." --Bullwinkle J. Moose