My sympathies. I am childless, and no matter what path you chose in life there is a price to pay. I've never known the joy of having a tiny pair of arms around my neck and hearing "I love you, dad." That's a high price to pay for the path I've chosen. On the other hand, I've never had to go through what you are dealing with at the moment, and I have no hostages to fortune. Ya pays yer money and ya picks yer poison. Life is crazy! The trick seems to be to take great joy in the positive aspects of one's chosen path, and let that joy make the negatives worth enduring. Love that child, and, eventually, you'll get your reward.

(The most reasonable response, on your part, to this philosophical treatise, after a sleep disturbed night, would be "oh shut the **** up!, you idiot!" Were our roles reversed, I KNOW that would be MY response. Hang in there!)

Jack

"People generally quarrel because they cannot argue." - G. K. Chesterton