Chapter 2: The Afternoon Blurs to EveningAnd I say blur because my week started the previous Saturday. After working 67 hours in 5 days, flying 2500 km, arriving at midnight, staying up till 2am visiting (and sipping a few brew including the aforementioned Lowenbrau), then having Peter wake me up with a most disturbing sound the next morning from 80 km away…I was mentally shot.
The afternoon on the deck could have easily turned into a 22 hour siesta and the boys could have laid me out in a ditch halfway to Ottawa with me being none the wiser. On the upside Doug Schneider (from
www.Soundstage.com) may have spotted me on his way down to the Axiom bash but whether he had enough sympathy to pick me up, who is to say?
But, we trudged onto dinner as I gained my second wind.
It could also have been the
cool fall north wind breezing up my left short pant leg so I switched to pants for dinner.
Friday night dinner was cordial. There was superbly fine deep fried food (pickles, perogies, potato skins, and some kind of spring roll that I never did take the gamble tasting, although the boys at the end of the table did and I’m glad I was in a solo room that night). Most people moved around the room, hand shaking and trying to figure out who was really who.
Then, things turned colourful.
BobK was apparently forced at gunpoint to turn our quiet start into the opening of an AA meeting (
Axiomites Anonymous). It always gives you that standing in front of a large crowd at the national gathering of the Mickey Mouse Club feeling.
Hi I’m Charlie…I’m Jimmy… I’m Timmy…I’m Bob and I’m one cute and funny little bunny… (BobH that is, not BobK…he’s just plain funny and he will comment on his own fuzzyness if he wants to).
After the round table intros that almost left out Andrew Parker and
both his brothers (I thought at one point the Wheelz family and Parker bros. were going to rumble in the parking lot…jus kiddin), it was about that point where people realized the
only women to attend this gig were Axiom employees and Cam’s entourage.
Very quickly the tone of the meeting turned into a 10th anniversary flip book of
Where’s Waldo except with the subject of
Where’s Sonic?
Hey where is Sonic?
-Isn’t Sonic here yet?
--Is that girl at the bar Sonic?
---Does anyone have Sonic’s number?
----Jack don’t you know Sonic?
-----I think MarkSJohnson has Sonic’s contact info?
------Should someone PM Sonic?
-------Maybe Sonic is reading the forums. Someone post to Sonic.
--------Ian must have Sonic’s number. She bought stuff from his company.
---------Ask Ian where Sonic is.
----------Hey, where is Ian?
-----------Isn’t Ian here yet?
Sonic (and CJ) decided to make an Iowa entrance with a Plains, Trains and Automobiles story about her and CJs eventual arrival. It was the clichéd calm before the storm because Sonic and CJ decided to show up late again the next evening and everything just went crazy roller coaster from there. In fact, I’m not sure who got a more boisterous applause when entering the room; Ian or Sonic. What I do know is that Sonic did it twice!!
Lesson learned Ian. To get a louder applause for your product releases, you must release them much later than anyone expects and do it more than once!
Cheers to Sonic and CJ for making it through the travel ordeal. Personally I just had a Seinfeld moment at the car rental desk for excitement.
CHESS: “You don’t’ have any midsized cars? But I made a reservation. What’s the point of making the reservation if the car isn’t reserved?”
RENTAL LADY:“You have a good point sir, but all we have are four by fours.”
CHESS: “You have what other options? A broken down Ford Escape or a Soprano’s Special Edition Denali? Hmm, should I choose 3mpg or 3.25 mpg?”
[I ended up with an Impala and I wasn’t kidding about being offered a Denali]
So where were we?Oh right, dinner.
There were more potatoes in my fries than Iowa
[these references to Iowa kept coming up but I couldn’t recall which state Sonic was actually from. Iowa, Ohio? Some place with a four letter word that didn’t start with F or G.], and there were great battered whitefish (and I’m not talking about the old guys’ at the end of the table who apparently brought their own blenders for their steaks). The main course was tasty, which is more than I can say for
Steamwhistle beer. I appreciate that you appreciate that beer Tom, but I appreciated it more when you took the next one that was served to me since I had asked for a
Boddington’s.
Way to take one for the team Tom!!
Atta boy!
Did I yet mention that Murph finally showed up? He didn’t get applause. I guess you need to grow some bigger tweeters Murph.
This was really an ironic beginning of the end for me I think but that realization came in a small package…and his name was Murph.
After dinner broke up, it was clear that some people were past weathering the events of the day to the bitter end, so some went to bed (a choice I
should have made for my mental health) while some others were gratefully invited over to Jakeman’s pad at yep, another cottage by another lake.
We tend to have a lot of those in Ontario.
God loves us.
Too bad I live in Manitoba.
We pulled into the driveway after a dark and narrow stretch (thanks for believing the speed sign was actually reading 60 kph and not 60 mph Ray) and everyone shuffled inside; all but myself.
The fresh air was inviting.
So was the big bush.
I had a revelation gazing upon the gorgeously clear,
unearthly star speckle in the sky while taking a bladder evacuation break beside a silver birch. It was the spooky sounds of tree crashing, no doubt from a porky falling out of a poplar, which snapped me out of the reality that I was urinating uphill while staring awkwardly upward in awe of the universe.
I proceeded to eagerly run inside to tell the city boys of my experience (the sky, not the pee) that if they really wanted a great Canadian outdoors experience, to head onto John’s oversized deck and view the milk in the Milky Way.
That never came out right when I said it to them either.
The only thing missing were some northern lights (Aurora borealis) and they would have experienced a complete day in the Ontario woods (except for lack of meeting a black beer but there were tons of deer). Did I say black beer?
I meant black BEAR.
The boys saw tons of black BEER.
The evening moved onward as Jakeman et. al. placed some new M80 V3s into locales on either side of the fireplace inside his high V peaked ceiling, wood walled interior with a moderate medium pile rug; glass walls to the right and open space to the rear leading to the dining and kitchen areas.
A hard room?
Certainly no different than your average Joe’s place and very similar to the Axiom listening room, albeit much larger.
The sound was excellent.
The music selection well suited and varied.
By far the most impressive was the “Fight Between Bull and Tiger” Chinese drums beating in synchronicity.
I only wish I knew who won.
As the night wore on, so did Jack. Something about young pups and whippersnappers followed by the discovery of fire, and then I caught a ride with Ray and J back to the crib for some long required rest. It was on the way out that noticed the rest of the boys headed down into the underbelly of Jakeman’s basement.
I never did hear any stories of what happened…down there…in that room under the cabin, like the one under the Pine Acre cottage at the Lumina Resort that a has a door, covered over by stringy and oversized cobwebs with the rusted title above the door that read: “Caretaker”… (no, i'm not kidding about this either).
Coming next,
Chapter 3:Saturday’s Are Always Gay
(my grandmother loved that saying and apparently it all rhymes with Ray)And…pictures of Saturday including a 3+ min video of the band and guest singer from Lowest of the Low if i can get the damn thing loaded up at all
