Help Wanted in OT Jokes. medic8r and I have been trading favorite bumper stickers. Pathetic!

These were the first words spoken on last night's 11pm news, no lie. I'm sure many of you can do better than reality.

"Four off-duty policemen, a stripper and her body guard..."

Complete the sentence?

Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.