A very unattractive, nasty, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids.
The Wal-Mart Greeter, asks, "Are they twins"?
The ugly woman snarls, "Hell no, the oldest one, he's 9, and the younger one, she's 7. "Why... Do you think they really look alike?"
"Hell no", replied the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice"

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.