An LP emulator is a product opportunity for Axiom.

All you have to do is attenuate the bass below 100Hz and add a brick wall filter around 35Hz, add rumble, wow and flutter, decrease the dynamic range and decrease the signal to noise ratio, add some dust, add some static, add disc warping, make the track more lossy as it is played and make successive tracks on "each side" sound progressively worse than the first (due to angular speed differences).

Put all these settings in an iThing interface and let listeners twiddle to their hearts' content.